I'm like a bird...

I'll only fly away....
well... I do get emails, even from people thinking I'm affiliated with Wendy's newspaper, the News-Press..after a year or so of blogging, you'd think people would catch on... first of all, you pronounce this blog like this: Santa Barbara News...Pressblog.com..see, there's a litte pause between News..and Press, got it? It's all in the rhythm of how you swing babay...so if you got some correspondence with the New-Press, don't email me! It's not up to me to forward your mail to Wendy's minions, I'm not a mail-forwarding service, I'm a SATIRE, a biting motherfucking satire!! I've said it before so you need to search the archives to find it...it is all explained very clearly...somewhere
see, the NewsPress doesn't have a blog or a comments section in the online paper so I can see why some of you might be cornfused..why don't they have a blog??? because they are afraid of opposing and caustic viewpoints..ie they're a bunch of pussies...they got a thing about manners and civility so they say, but they wouldn't hesitate to fire someone for no reason, or print false stories about their enemies, so they're a bunch of hypocrites too..why, when quack Dr. Laura was writing for the paper on page 2, Wendy wouldn't allow any criticism of her, even when she was lying and cheating and being Dr. Laura the hypocrite!! They live in a protected environment paid for with Wendy's divorce money...she's like a bird in a cage...a gilded cage...poor girl!
It doesn't take a genuis to see this stuff, Wendy brought it on herself..but if she does want her own blog and feels this blog name might confuse people (me included)..the offer still stands..I can change it or drop or sell it..if the price is right.... I can be bought!!
so I heard back from one emailer and he wasn't actually trying to contact the News-Press like I thought, he was actually trying to tell me that the News-Press blew the kayak story on the front page indicating the missing guy was last seen 12 nautical miles southeast of the Santa Barbara harbor, but no details about who saw him!
well I'm not surprised that the NP would fuck up a story, but I am surprised that I would fuck up reading an email! Look, I can see the islands from my window and 12 nautical miles out, I see pelicans all the time or maybe those are Navy choppers or a Channel Island fox swimming around.....anything is possible... in any case, I hope the kayaker guy is alright...and I hope you people don't send me anymore trick emails and Wendy, my offer still stands...