don't bee cruel...

stinging nettle

I was riding my bicycle up in the foothills on Saturday, unmolested by life's trials that some poor saps are experiencing...it was a lovely day after the fog burned off..warm and sunny with dragonflies whipping by, hawks hawking and vultures circling waiting for someone to die...there was a bunch of Harley riders too and they whizzed by and waved at me whilst I sat on the bridge of sighs...now there's some good riders, no noise makers just people riding for the love of it..and as I've instructed all riders, bypassing the Harley dealership on Via Real in their hour of shame.. down the road there's a new ranch.. the Heartstone Ranch.. you can board your horse, get some firewood and fresh fruits veggies.. oh, I love the ranches up here...welcome pards!
so anyway I'm cruising along and when I ride I grab some roadside plants like sage or fennel to get a burst of nature's sweet summer elixer.... well, I grabbed some sage and then some fennel, still while riding, and chewed on some fennel...yum... but then..OUCH....there was a bee in the clump and it bit me on the tongue the fuckin asshole bee and now I talk with a lisp!!
I wish I could expreth my thadness at this dilemma, but I can't..I thound thupid now like I'm gay but I'm not but what if I ran into Emmanuelle Seigner riding her bike.. would she give me the time of day if I went up to her and thaid: thay Emma, wanna thee my tongue?! No woman would..but wait, my tongue is starting to get bigger..big enough to do the job Emmanuelle and I can barely get air thru my mouth..but I thtarted wondering if a four hour tongue erection could benefit me thsomhow..well, in reality, the anthwer is no..ssssuffering ssssuccotash!!