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Sunday, January 3, 2010

get your kicks on Route 66

if you ever plan to motor west..
so I get in my car and ask my GPS to get me to Santa Barbara but I end up in Gaviota at the landfill..so I put in new batteries and tell it to take me back to Santa Barbara and I end up in San Francisco..so I stop into a Chevy dealer and buy a whole new GPS unit..it takes a few hours to install so I go eat at the Wharf and come back...I pay the man and take off..I tell my GPS I wanna go home to Carpinteria and I end up in fucking Fresno! Now I'm starting to get scared..there's no mountains or ocean here, there's just tract homes, skinheads, gang members and conservatives! So I turn around and without consulting my GPS this time, I actually turned it off, haul ass down the James Dean Highway pedal to the floor and finally, finally hit the coast..whew...then I turned my GPS back on and say take me to Carp Godammit!!..I end up in Cambria! Hey, it's lovely place with great big coastal trees..I guess the Caltrans Chainsaw Massacre hasn't happened here yet..down on Padaro Lane, they are chopping down trees left and right..it must be a stress response to the budget problems but I don't like it one little bit...
I ask the GPS to take me to Big Sur and I end up in Carpinteria..tomorrow me and my GPS are goin' hiking!!

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