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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

hit me with your best shot....

turning corneous girls into proper young ladies

so when I'm channel surfing I always check out the religious stations to see what they're selling.... God knows, I might even learn something..ha ha...but seriously, I stop at a place called EWTN and there's this lady ya see who looks like Dr. Laura only crazier and she's interviewing a bunch of teenyboppers who happen to be pregnant..the lady is babbling on about this and that when all of a sudden she mentions a term I've never heard before: secondary virgins. She wants all the girls to be secondary virgins and practice purity...I guess these church ladies still think sex is impure...but what is a secondary virgin? A virgin who struck out the first time? a cute term for a little trailer park slut? actually, I prefer tertiary virgins!! so I googled "secondary virgins" and I'm kinda sorry I did. There's a whole subculture of adults out there who can't teach their children the biological realities of sex instead relying on voodoo to drive the message home. There's all types of tactics these religious nuts use to confuse the kids.
but maybe they are right...let's all take the pledge! 
Purity Pledges
For Fathers
I (Daughter's Name)'s Father, choose before God to go to war for my daughter's purity. I acknowledge myself as the authority and protector of my daughter's virginity, and pledge to be a man of integrity as I lead, guide, and pray over my daughter and her virginity – as the High Priest of my home.( ie, I got the hots for my daughter!!)
For Virgins
I (Name) pledge my purity to my father, my future/husband and my Creator. (hey, what about mom!!) I recognize that virginity is my most precious gift to offer to my future husband (because I am a hot piece of ass).. I will not engage in sexual activity of any kind before marriage (except with daddy) but will keep my thought and my body pure as a very special present for the one I marry...(ie I have a very special pussy and my pussy has special powers!)
For Secondary Virgins (those who have engaged in promiscuous behavior) and wish to recommit themselves to lives of purity)
I (Mick Von Caw) re–pledge my purity to my father, my future/wifeypoo and my Creator(poor mom gets left out here again!!). I now recognize that virginity is my most precious gift to offer my future wife. I deeply regret and will never again engage in sexual activity of any kind before marriage but will keep my thought and my body pure as a very special present for the one I marry. (I Never Will Marry..Dolly Parton)
fighting all these ssssexxxx thoughts is making me ccccrazy...
SECONDARY VIRGINITY
So what if you decide it isn't a good idea to continue having sex? Then you make one of the most important decisions you will ever make: You choose to stop and wait. It is called secondary virginity because it is the next best thing to being a true virgin - someone who has never had sex.In other words, secondary virginity is a decision to no longer engage in any kind of sexual relationship until your wedding night. It is an opportunity for a new beginning. Your physical virginity may be lost, but choosing to stop having sex and wait until marriage to do it again may keep you from literally losing your life!

FIVE STEPS TO BECOMING A SECONDARY VIRGIN
1. Make a firm commitment to save yourself for marriage from now on, and believe you can, because you can!
2. Stay away from people, places, things and situations that will make it hard for you to control yourself. Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is to avoid people who tempt or pressure us especially if it is someone we are attracted to or have already had sex with.
3. Avoid intense hugging, passionate kissing, and intimate touching (caressing of private parts with clothes on or off) which will lead to lustful thoughts and probably some kind of sexual activity.
4. Find non-physical ways to show your love and appreciation.
5. Remember that anyone can start over, including you! When you focus on commitment and self-discipline, you can control your desires and actions.
and don't listen to Pat Benatar!

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