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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Southern Man...

better keep your head...

I've never been to South Carolina, but I've watched Strom Thurmond enough to know he was a proponent of states rights (segregation) and apparently, inbreeding... We got Governor Mark Sanford, still hanging on to his office in spite of all the reasons he should resign; we got Joe Wilson, a far right war monger whose student deferment got him out of the Vietnam war. Joe Wilson was criticized for shouting "you lie" at President Barack Obama during his speech to Congress, an extraordinary breach of decorum...these outbursts from backwater conservatives are typical of the old guard: Strom and Jesse Helms...
here's some facts about SC that I think you should know before ya'll go there a visitin'....
 
Fortune tellers are required to obtain a special permit from the state.
Dance halls may not operate on Sundays.
No work may be done on Sunday.

Eating watermelons in the Magnolia Street cemetery is forbidden.
It is considered an offense to get a tattoo.
Horses may not be kept in bathtubs and must wear masks.
It is illegal to give or receive oral sex in South Carolina.
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.
It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
Bitches in heat shall be confined.
It is illegal to urinate in the waters of any park.
Dogs may not be on the beach during the summer months during the daytime or the owner may be arrested. (good one!!)
hey... I ain't lyin'

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