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Saturday, August 1, 2009

this masquerade...

some of the candidates are so lacking in real world and government experience, I wonder can they tell a voting booth from an outhouse??
and they want to run the city like a private business? Pacific Bancorp lost $362 million dollars last quarter!!

Well.... maybe I can help... here's a peek at the candidates without the masks....
 
Dale Francisco: Mr. Von Caw..if you want to speak to me, you'll do so outside the chambers! Is that clear?? Do you understand??!! I said outside the chambers!! I will not tolerate such insolence from a member of the public..Mr Von Caw PLEASE!! Do not interrupt me or I shall jump up and down!
John Thyne:
Happy Hour at City Hall from 5:00 pm to 6:00pm...Thyne was recently busted again, according to KEYT, for another booze-related driving incident, a violation of his probation for a 2007 DUI! Will start new business venture called Thyne and Hotchkiss Wineries... stick to real estate, John...
Olivia Uribe: free Spanish lessons at City Hall on Saturdays for all you English- only gringos! Bueno!
Mike Self: all the streets in Santa Barbara will be torn up in favor of dirt roads! Good idea!
Steve Cushman: the less he says and the more the other candidates say the better his chances of winning... seriously
David Pritchett: free hotdogs all the time...
Bob Hanson (or is it Hansen): we need to dismantle the elitist power structure of the NewsPress media octypus! or is it octopus?
Frank Hotchkiss: according to the Jim Buckley, the goofy neocon publisher of the society rag "Montecito Journal", Frank is a shoe-in for city council..maybe that's why Frank won't join in on the debates, having missed the first one and refused to participate in the second one...
Helene: she will wear Blue Velvet all the time...sexy!
Iya: free diction and acting classes Sundays in council chambers
Justin Tevis: Justin, your mommy called and it's time for your nappypoo!!
Grant House: quietly sewing together another term..
good luck everyone!

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