Glenn Beck is a conservative, god loving, unstable alcoholic (he keeps reminding us of his battles with addiction) who takes money from traitor Aussie faux-American Rupert Murdoch..he's got a show on FOX and is trying to convince a bunch of lawn chair retirees from Florida that America is doomed now that Obama is President..he wants you to gather in your kitchens, get all touchy-wouchy and talk to one another about all your little problems the libs are causing..he came up with a list of principles he wants Americans to follow..a list that he himself can't follow...my first duty as Mayor will be to beat the shit outtta this chubby little idiot! Telling you this makes me a far-left-loon-smear-merchant according to Glen's co-worker, neocon moron sex harrasser Bill O'Reilly, who insists he's an independent but only visits right wing venues like the Nixon and Reagan Libraries to hawk his "books"..my second duty as Mayor will be to kick his phony ass, too!now..on with the campaign!!!
After a soul stirring search, I've come up with a campaign slogan that I copped from my favorite president..Teddy Roosevelt, who said: speak softly and carry a big stick..well, my turn on that phrase is : Mick Von Caw..the only candidate with a big stick..and my campaign name, partly inspired by the deep blue sea:
Majestic Mick the Stick.. the name will prove my royal blood and that alone will get me in good with KEYT'S jetset gal Coleen Sullivan..good golly miss Colly!! I'll be waiting for your interview request...
and..you can use my name around the kitchen table or when you're outdoors BBQing, drinking or whatever..it will give you hope about Santa Barbara's nebulous future!
..the conversations might sound like this: ya know, Santa Barbara isn't what it used to be..maybe Majestic Mick the Stick could save the day! or: ya know, we got the French Festival, the Greek Festival..well why not the Jello Festival..let's ask the Stick!!
When City Hall gives you trouble say to yourself: Mick the Stick wouldn't put up with this, and neither will I! My candidacy will free all you little weenies to stand up for yourselves instead of hiding behind your computers and TVs watching nitwits like Beck! ( I watch for research only)
YOU SHALL BE EMPOWERED!!
So, I'll be on the road, campaigning in your neighborhoods, knocking on your doors and windows, esp at night while you are undressing for a shower or beddy- bye..just let me know when your husbands and boyfriends are out of the house...they don't deserve you anyway...
and..you can use my name around the kitchen table or when you're outdoors BBQing, drinking or whatever..it will give you hope about Santa Barbara's nebulous future!
..the conversations might sound like this: ya know, Santa Barbara isn't what it used to be..maybe Majestic Mick the Stick could save the day! or: ya know, we got the French Festival, the Greek Festival..well why not the Jello Festival..let's ask the Stick!!
When City Hall gives you trouble say to yourself: Mick the Stick wouldn't put up with this, and neither will I! My candidacy will free all you little weenies to stand up for yourselves instead of hiding behind your computers and TVs watching nitwits like Beck! ( I watch for research only)
YOU SHALL BE EMPOWERED!!
So, I'll be on the road, campaigning in your neighborhoods, knocking on your doors and windows, esp at night while you are undressing for a shower or beddy- bye..just let me know when your husbands and boyfriends are out of the house...they don't deserve you anyway...
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