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Friday, October 30, 2009

Santa Barbara Chainsaw Massacre...

a run in with that goofy Texan Randy "Leatherface" Van Wolfswinkelstein....
 
so, I turned to see who was grabbing my arm and it was the lovely and famous Norma Desmond..."damn Norma, you scared me a little".. I brushed my arm across her half-exposed and supple breasts and said "sorry.. I didn't mean to!" Her nipples were poking through her sweater like a couple of illegal aliens trying to sneak across the border!
She just smiled her little smile and handed me a present and then started to tell me what she saw last night while she was walking around East Haley Street [aka Sunset Blvd] at three in the morning.. she says "I saw this guy drive up in a new BMW, and he started babbling about how big he was cos he was from Texas, about how size matters, a bunch of stuff related to bulk"...Norma interrupts him and says "you wanna party or not, Leatherface?" The dude says "GO DONS" and speeds away, but not before hitting an old woman who was walking across the street like a zombie!!
Norma freaked and ran to help the old lady, who got up said "I'm Sheila" and continued to walk, walk walk... then Norma says to me "There once was a time in this business when I had the eyes of the whole world! But that wasn't good enough for them, oh no! They had to have the ears of the whole world too. So they opened their big mouths and out came talk. Talk! TALK!"
I looked at her with a half-baked smile and nodded " This whole place seems to have been stricken with a kind of creeping paralysis - out of beat with the rest of the world, crumbling apart in slow motion."
Norma said "You are... writing words, words, more words! Well, you'll make a rope of words and strangle this town! But there'll be a microphone there to catch the last gurgles, and Technicolor to photograph the red, swollen tongues!"
the more Norma talked, the more red and swollen I became and had to sit down on a bench for awhile...we sat there until evening crept in...I cried: let's go see a movie!
Norma squeezed my arm and said: I promise you I'll never desert you again because after a 'Salome' sandwich, I'm ready for a movie. You see, this is my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just us, the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!... All right, Dr.Von Caw, I'm ready for my close-up.

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