If someone offered me a free ranch in Santa Ynez, I'd take it...I'd go there to get away from the city blues..commune with the wildlife..the coyotes and mountain lions and bears..they'd be welcome on my ranch anytime..a part of the family. I'd grow my own food..have chickens and peacocks and cows and horses...and beautiful ranch cowgirls running around half naked..we'd have BBQs and watch the sun rise..and plant by the light of the moon...wow! That's my idealized version of the Santa Ynez Valley..lately, my visions have been tampered with..by the Chumash and the big ranchers..the valley has changed or has it, and I've got to find out which it is.....The news rolling down the Chumash Highway is not good...casino crime, drunk drivers, winos, fighting between cowboys and Indians; gambling mafia, limosines full of drunken Republicans..not exactly my kinda town..so where lies the truth? Will I wake up with a horse's head in my bed if I snoop around the casino? are there really fat cowboys and cowgirls?? are there gay Indians???
WHAT THE HAY is going on up there???
I used to live on some local historic ranches.. ranch owners do come in different colors..some are crazy and some are cool, creative and pioneering...let's root out the crazies and restore some pride to the ranching and farming community! Give me John Wayne..you can keep skinny Willie Chamberlain!
and there was always work to be done, always chores..so how can you be fat?
Perhaps you have all the gauchos doing the work for you, then you get fat..that must be it. I went to the rodeo last year and saw some wide cowboys and felt sorry for the horses; I saw Willy Chamberlain..he looked like an old skinny steer-bull-femme, ambling up the walkway! and there's Nancy Crawford Hall, who gave $100000 to Steve Pappas..talk about pay-to-play...then she goes on and pisses off the parents of UCSB students, telling them that their kids are too stupid to vote..Students unite, stand up to these inbred rich ranch folk...you are the future, they are the past. Cow shit should never be a substitute for horse sense!
Happy Birthday Dr. Laura! Here's my present!I see Dr. Laura has grown more introspective since leaving the News-Press...she quotes French writer Jean Paul Sartre! Stunning...Dr. Laura, I vant to Fronsh kees your leetle poosie!!
Finallyment: Old Navy is closing up a bunch of stores..will the State Street shop go back to Earthling Books?
and go round and round and round, in the circle game...
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