to track down Dr. Laura, hunt her down like a dog, and make her confess!to change California's community property law so that you get nothing from a divorce except beautiful memories
to get Helene Schneider to show me her boobs
to help Wendy paint the NewsPress building and replace the front doors
to destroy all newspapers, editors, publishers and columnists
to eliminate "sustainable" from the English language
to "know" more Mexican women!
to wear a green beret in public
to learn how to surf
to re-introduce feral pigs to the Channel Islands
to kill Billy Mays
to slap happy a little less often
to go to the Santa Ynez Valley, drink wine, play bingo, and have a big lunch with big fat Nancy Crawford Hall
just some ways I intend to... take on the day
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